Whoever coined the term ‘to age gracefully’ was clearly not in their late 40’s and quite frankly I think they should slide off their hipster high horse and feel what it’s like to barely recognise the face that stares back at them from the bathroom mirror each morning. There is nothing graceful about ageing. Gravity becomes the enemy as your cheeks, boobs and butt start to fall like the Roman Empire and your annual mammogram is the only occasion you'll be asked to appear topless on film....

I have always been quite partial to a girl’s night out. And by girl’s night out, I don’t mean a quiet dinner at a local café followed by a romcom and a few giggles. Nope… I’m talking about a pin your ears back, pull on your party pants, strap on a stiletto and dust off your dance moves circa 1995 kind of night. Granted, such nights are about as spontaneous as a flash mob and require weeks of military style planning to pull off...

After a period of self-indulgent naval gazing, I’ve arrived at an analogy for life, which isn’t as profound as I would have liked. I’ve concluded that life is like a game of footy. Ironic given I’m not a footy fan and nor do I really understand the rules (oh wait … that part could explain a few things). This game called life is being played out in four quarters, punctuated by breaks where the players get to recover and regroup. The first quarter is played at high intensity while players are still fresh, energised and ready to...

I used to be an excellent shopper back in the day … and I mean like ‘world class’ excellent. I could pound the pavement all day long. I knew exactly where to go and who had what. I could spend an hour in the change room without flinching (or needing to pee) and be ready to back up the next day to revisit multiple items I’d put on hold. Fast-forward 20 years and the picture looks a little different. Nowadays, shopping expeditions have a strict time limit in place and some non-negotiable terms and conditions that make...

I am the first to admit that “doing nothing” is not my strong suit. I get bored easily and I like to feel perpetually productive. The closest I get to ‘nothing’ is watching TV while simultaneously ironing, talking on the phone and mentally planning my agenda, meals and to do list for the next 3 days. I’m also not a huge fan of “do nothing” holidays. After 24 hours of luxuriating around a pool I start tapping my fingers and annoying the bejesus out of those around me. I know it’s illogical, but other people doing nothing...

I do some of my best work in my mobile office (aka my car) … which also doubles as a mobile café and a mobile recycling bin. On my (obscenely) early morning trips to the rowing sheds (dressed in PJ’s and ugg boots) I often ponder life’s big questions … like, ‘what in gods name are all these people doing on the road so early’ or ‘why isn’t everyone else’s bins spilling over with rubbish like mine?’ It was on the way home from one such early morning outing that I had an epiphany of sorts. Dreaming...

Jealousy is a very ugly trait, but I think it can be excused under certain circumstances … like during the last school hols … as I froze my ass off while every other living creature seemed to be sunning themselves in Capri and Croatia. Seriously, if I had seen one more instagram post of the sun setting over the Adriatic I think I might “hashtag puke.” ...

As luck would have it, my 50th year also happens to coincide with my first year as a part time parent. Both kids will officially be adults. Both will be finished school and (in theory) less needy of my full time attention. As far as opportunities go … this is a ‘pigs with hens teeth flying past a blue moon’ once in a lifetime kind of opportunity and the perfect timing for my golden gap year....

I am, by my own admission, a slightly obsessive compulsive, anally retentive planner (what fun you say). I love dotting i’s and crossing t’s and I have an unhealthy obsession with spread sheeting. Oh wait … is that the death knell of my already dwindling social life I hear? I am not that cool … let’s just ‘wing it’ girl. Never have been. I love to feel organized. I love a list and the absence of a plan makes me feel decidedly unsettled, which probably goes some way towards explaining the growing sense of anxiety I’m feeling right now....

I have exactly two years to physically and mentally prepare for my own personal golden jubilee. When I reflect on Golden Jubilees, (even the term sounds antiquated and passé’) the only one I have any recollection of celebrating was that of my primary school (circa 1979). I recall we dressed up like extras from Little House on The Prairie and danced around a maypole … seemed logical at the time and goes to reinforce that 50 years ago (from any point in time) just falls into that nebulous period affectionately referred to as “the olden days.”...